You make Cheese and Chocolate Fondue for Two, become great karate warrior

Above: Ingredients for traditional cheese fondue (Where's the kirshwasser? I think I forgot to put it on the table!)

Sometime in December my boyfriend took me out to The Melting Pot with his friend James and James' wife Liz. After the alpine salad, cheese fondue, hot oil fondue, and dark chocolate with Bailey's fondue (not to mention barrels of red wine - thank you, James) I decided maybe this gluttonous rampage upon my bowels might best be done at home. It was, for Britton and I, mostly about the salad and the cheese anyway. At home, I could at least control the portions and the variety of cheese. Also, the idea of spattering hot oil so close to my lovely, scar-free hands and arms made me a wee bit nervous even if the result was a tempura battered shrimp slathered in green goddess sauce...oh, you know.

Britton was convinced Valentine's Day was just some man-hating mixture of gooey pink and red candy hearts mixed with melty chocolate cherry madness. He may be somewhat right about that, but I looked at the holiday as just another chance to spend time together and eat, eat, eat. Combining our love of cinema (even 80's sports flicks) and food, we chose a combination platter fondue feast and Karate Kid mini-marathon.

Also check out my new electric fondue set (V-day present, yays!) So easy to clean.

I'll let him talk to you about Karate Kid I and II, but as far as the fondue goes, I think I knocked it out of the park.

The follow recipe is a variation on a recipe I found at Epicurious from Gourmet Magazine. Some ingredients have been altered to protect the innocent.

• 1 1/2 cups dry white wine (Riven Rock is a great dry chardonnay for this from Whole Foods.
• 1 fresh garlic clove
• 3-4 tablespoons cornstarch
• 2 teaspoons kirschwasser (a cherry brandy, available at most liquor stores)
• 1 cup Emmental cheese, grated
• 1 cup Appenzaller cheese, grated
• 2 cups Gruyere cheese, grated

Slice the clove of garlic in half and rub halves on the inside of the fondue pot. There will be this aromatic garlic-y residue that adds a lot of flavor to the cheese. Don't forget it!

Add the wine to the pot and allow it to simmer. Also add the kirschwasser.

Mix the cornstarch and cheese together in a bowl. Add handfuls of the cheese to the simmering pot slowly while stirring with a nonstick spoon. Don't let the cheese bubble too much. Just keep stirring. Switch wrists if you have to. This be-yotch ain't gonna make itself you know. You gotta work it!

Fondue should thicken within a couple minutes. If you've waited a while and the fondue has not thickened to your liking, mix a little more cornstarch with enough water to dissolve it. Add this mix to the pot, make sure its still hot, and stir, baby, stir.

Don't worry...it is soooo worth it....

Oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man, oh god, oh man, OH GOD.

Serve with slices of warmed kielbasa, lots of fresh, crunchy bread, and sliced granny smith apples. Cornichons and vegetables (cooked potatoes, broccoli, asparagus, sauteed brussel sprouts) are also popular.

And we are not even done yet! No sir. I hope you made room for dessert. The flavors

in this mix are mostly dark chocolate and almond, but honey adds a complimentary sweet-

ness to the bitter cacao. This recipe is straight from Epicurious, so I will let them guide you

on your way to chocolate heaven.

We had this with fresh strawberries and pineapple pieces. After the sausage and bread, we

didn't want to push our tummies to the limit. We needed to keep ourselves ready for a fight

in case a bunch of guys in skeleton tights broke into Britton's house and questioned our

skills in karate. Hai!

Pound cake, brownies, marshmallows, etc. These are also great for chocolate fondue, but really,

anything will go with this fondue...beets, corn tortillas, monkey brains. It's that good.